More Than Just a Pretty Face

Meet my sister.

Jerica Danielle Tudor.

17 years old. 

Oh...to be 17 again...

At first glance, you think..."wow...she's gorgeous!"

True, she is. 

But to me -

She's more than just a pretty face. 

See those big blue eyes?

Those big blue eyes

have cried thousands of tears on my shoulder when 

growing up was tough

when things were hard to understand

They have lit up with laughter when 

we'd have dance parties in the middle of the night

when we would sing at the top of our lungs

I'm sure she's even rolled those big blue eyes at me a time or two ;)

But they have been there...at every moment of my life that I felt was important,

they have always been there.

Those eyes saw me the day I was baptized.

They saw me the day I graduated high school.

They saw me the day I was married.

They saw my very first baby boy come into this world.

See that big smile?

Ever since she was a little girl, 

that smile has been waiting for me every time I came home.

Every time I picked her up from school.

Every Christmas morning when Santa would come.

Every birthday.

Every surprise along the way.

That smile has lit up my life a thousand times over.

I sure am blessed.

See those hands?

Those hands, once little bitty

Colored lots of pictures

Played ball

Touched lots of fishing worms

Got dirty

Even fixed her own food 

and picked her own clothes

And they would usually end up on my face in the middle of the night, since we shared a bed.

But over the years those hands have hugged me tight.

Helped me up.

Wiped my tears.

Held onto mine, as we have prayed powerful prayers.

Oh, and that heart of hers?

That is a heart that is real.

A heart for God.

A heart that hurts when others hurt.

A heart that delights in helping others.

 A heart that has been broken time and time again by the evil in this world, 

and the hurt others love to give to someone.

We all remember high school, right?

And because of that,

If you win her heart, you should be proud -- it's not easy to do.

And I'm certain, 

if she could wear her heart on the outside of her body

it would be even more beautiful than the rest of her.

It's a heart that has always loved me - no matter what. 

So...you see, to just say, "She's a pretty girl."  

Well, that would just be the understatement of the year, in my book.

She's so much more than just a pretty face.

Jerica, 

Seventeen.

One of my favorite ages, like I've always told you :)

And here you are!

Such a scary, bittersweet and exciting time.

I know lots of things are about to change.

Lots of decisions to make.

Graduation.

You're standing at the edge of everything-

Life as you know it, and the unknown future.

I can remember being 17 like it was yesterday, never had I felt so much emotion at one time,

so much love

so much joy

so much pain.

Stuck in the middle --

Not a child, but not yet a woman.

But one thing is for certain,

you have the world at your feet, and your whole life ahead of you.  

This is one of the most exciting times of your life.  

Savor it.

Remember it.

The world NEEDS to see those 

big blue eyes and bright smile.

and God has lots of plans waiting

for your hands and your heart.

Plans that you can't even think up on your own.

Trust in him.

Plug into His will.

Use this time to talk to Him

Grow in Him.

Let Him shape you and mold you into the woman he wants for you to be.

Because let me tell you, He always knows what's best.

He always provides.

And He will continue to bless you.

So my only advice to you, the most important advice I could ever give --

Surrender

It all

To HIM.

THE ONE WHO CREATED YOU for a SPECIFIC purpose

and the only one who truly knows the desires of your heart,

and can make them come true.  

THE ONE WHO GIVES exceedingly, abundantly,

above and beyond, all that we could ever ask or dream!

You have always made me proud.

You have gone through life, and made your whole family proud.

You had stood up for what you believe in, even as a teenager, when it is hardest.

You have known right from wrong, and you have chosen right...time and time again.

You are so smart -- I mean, seriously, who even has a 4.3 GPA?  I didn't know that was possible.

You are so tough.

And one day...you are gonna make the greatest wife and mother.

But as for now, you have been such a great daughter, and such a great sister to me and to Jaylin.

And life without you would just be gray.  

Thank you for being beautiful you.

I love you more than life itself.

Lindsey

Before The Trees Are Bare....

I should probably take a moment and post a few pics of my fall decor before fall bids us farewell :)  Don't ya think?  I did very little fall decorating this year, because we have just moved into the new house, and we had much bigger projects to tackle.  I will say though, the inside of our house was an absolute and complete disaster, and somehow I managed to decorate the porch for fall....my priorities are in order, right? 

People driving by would have no idea our house was such a mess inside!  That was kind of the plan.

Plus, I just love fall, and though it would have been easier to just skip it all together this year, I couldn't dare leave it out!  The weather, the leaves, the pumpkins, the mums....ahhhhh, love it!

Inside I just dropped in a few pumpkins here and there :)  Nothin' much.  I love how these three little guys looked on top of these candle holders on top of our hutch.  I love the colors and sizes.   And the "Give Thanks" was a gift from my mother a couple years ago.  It's perfect leading up to Thanksgiving.  

These two wooden pumpkins found their home on my shelf in the living room. 

And a few goodies in the kitchen too ;)  On top is a fake pumpkin that I just cut open the top, and stuck some cute leafy branches in...next to my old antique enamel coffee kettle that I swiped at a yard sale this year.  A pumpkin sign, and a basket with mini pumpkins and gourds that I bought at the pumpkin patch.   

For those of you who are looking at this picture and thinking, "Oh, green cabinets, I love them!"  Well, don't get too attached, they are getting ready to be white :)  And for those of you who are looking at this picture and thinking, "Hmmm, not really liking the green cabinets."  Well, they're getting ready to be white :)  I do like the green, BUT it's just not me.  The backsplash is going to be beadboard, and everything is getting painted white, with new knobs.  Can't wait.  

But in the meantime...Clark is currently building shelves in the laundry room and storage room.  We are refinishing the dining room table (almost done!) and we have primed the chandelier his mom gave us, that is going to be painted black and hung in the dining room.  We are also planning to decorate for Christmas this weekend!  So there will be lots more projects to post very soon! 

Well, gotta run....Griffin decided to come home today and scatter about 100 pieces of tupperware throughout the house.  Gotta go collect it all!

Love and Hugs -

Lindsey   

  

"I love fall! Fall is exciting.

It's apples and cider.

It's an airborne spider.

It's pumpkins in bins.

It's burrs on dog's chins.

It's wind blowing leaves.

It's chilly red knees.

It's nuts on the ground.

It's a crisp dry sound.

It's green leaves turning

And the smell of them burning.

It's clouds in the sky.

It's fall. That's why...

I love fall."

-   Author Unknown

   

Oh Darlin, Don't You Ever Grow Up

Tip of the Day:  Do not, and I repeat, DO NOT start a blog right when you move to a new town and buy a new house.  Your life will be a crazy, whirlwind of events, and more than likely you will have to wait two months in between posts ;)


Well, folks, sorry it's been so long since my very first post.  We have been super busy trying to get un-busy.  Slowly but surely things are coming together :)  The new house is really growing on me, and I promise, I will post pics soon.  In the midst of all this craziness, we have tried to find ways to relax physically and mentally.  I treated myself to a new coffee maker last week.  

It's a KEURIG and I'm obsessed with it.  It makes a single cup instantly, and there are all different flavors.  Clark loves it because it makes hot chocolate :)  Oh, it's the simple things.    


But what has helped me more than anything, is making time to be alone with God.  Things had gotten so busy, that I had started neglecting the most important thing in my life.  I was worshipping my problems instead of my God who is BIGGER and more POWERFUL than any problem I may ever have.  And sure enough, as I have started to spend time in His Word daily, He has started to restore me.  He is SO faithful.  I don't know why I ever doubt Him.  


Throughout this whole change/moving process, we have made it a point to spend lots of fun time with Griffin.  It's just crazy how fast the time has flown.  I look at him and I think about how fast he is growing, and how I don't want to waste one single minute of soaking every cute/onery bit of him up.  I am convinced this has been the fastest year yet.  I had a talk with Griffin about him not growing up, but I understand that is just not gonna happen :)  The other day, I heard this song by T-Swift, and oh my goodness....she was singing my song to Griffin:

NEVER GROW UP

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger

And it's so quiet in the world tonight

Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming

So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light

To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret

I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple

I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you

Just try to never grow up, never grow up


You're in the car on the way to the movies

And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off

At 14 there's just so much you can't do

And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots

But don't make her drop you off around the block

Remember that she's getting older too

And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple

And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room

Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home

Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
and your little brother's favorite songs

I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone

So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off

It's so much colder that I thought it would be

So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up

I could still be little

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up

It could still be simple

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up

Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up

Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple

Won't let nobody hurt you

Won't let no one break your heart

And even though you want to, please try to never grow up

<

Oh, never grow up, just never grow up.

Click the link to hear the song on youtube :)

Next time I won't take so long to post again!  I have some projects and recipes to share :)  

Love and Hugs - 

Lindsey

Home.....Is Where You Are

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the desert
and streams in the wasteland."  Isaiah 43:18-19


A dear friend of mine brought this verse to my attention not too long ago.  Why?  Because....


I'm strugglin'


You see, four months ago....everything changed.  We packed up our family and our life, and moved to a new town.  This is a decision we prayed about for well over six months.  We made a billion lists of pros and cons, discussed, prayed, and really picked it to death, because we wanted to make the right decision.  We were happy where we were, but it really all came down to this little guy...

Oh, the things you do for your children.  I would just do anything in the world for him, wouldn't you? ;)   


We kept thinking..."Where is the best  place to raise our children?"   Clark's family all live here in the same town; parents, grandparents, great-grandmother, aunts and uncles (minus a few).  The 700 + acre farm he grew up on is here, and what boy wouldn't love growing up near the family farm?    


On the other hand, we loved where we were.  Had lived there since we were married.  It was ten minutes from where I am from.  Had so many close friends and relationships, were part of a very close church family, and my mom, stepdad and two sisters (who are my heart) -- lived 20 minutes away.  It is where we shared our first home, and where we gave birth to our first baby.  It was home.  


BUT once you start having babies, things change.  Life isn't about you anymore.  You want to be near family, and you want to be in a place where you feel like you have the best support/help possible in raising your children.  This is no discredit to my family, because they love Griffin more than anything, but my family is VERY busy, and they are all spread over several different towns, and after stressing for months on end, we finally made the decision to move to Clark's hometown, where he has his whole family there in one place.  It was either we do it, or always wonder if we should have.     


We talked about it, talked about it and talked about it, and finally....we put the for sale sign in the yard.    


And....we cried.


A couple months went by, had some serious lookers...they fell in love and made an offer on the house.


And....we cried.


The closing came, we packed up and headed out.


And....we cried.  


We kept asking God...."Now, why are we doing this again?"
We hadn't found a new house yet, so we have been living in my mother-in-law's basement while we searched.  Everyone was so excited for us to be here, and we would put on a fake smile, and at night when no one else could see, we would cry ourselves to sleep. 


We finally found a house that we liked in our price range.  We call it our stepping stone house, the one between now and where you want to eventually be :)  We made an offer, they accepted, we closed on the house last Wednesday


And....you guessed it....we cried.  


At a time when we should be so excited, why would we feel so completely empty?  


This has been extremely difficult for me, one reason is because I'm just a happy girl...I mean, really, typically I feel like even if I am having a not so great day, I still have a smile on my face and joy in my heart.  I just love life and love living it.  And lately....I just honestly feel numb.  Second reason, I love my family, and if Clark and Griffin can be happy, you better believe that I can be too, but to see Clark so unhappy through this process, has made me feel helpless, after all, this is his hometown, he is supposed to feel at home here, right?      


So needless to say, this is why I (we) have been struggling.  Usually when I do what I feel God wants me to do, there is a sense of peace about my decision....that's how I know it's right.  So, I have had a really hard time with the fact that I don't feel peace.....yet.  BUT for some reason, God is whispering, "Stay."  I am not quite sure what he is trying to show me through this process, but I know one thing I am learning to do more of, and that is to trust Him and wait.  Whoa, that's hard to do, can I get an "Amen"?    God often calls us to do things, even when it's hard, and even when we feel no comfort in this very moment.  So I have to keep on learning to trust, keep on learning to wait and be patient, believing that "All things work to the good of those who love the Lord, and are called according to His purpose" - (Romans 8:28)


Tonight, we went to the house for the very first time to start getting it ready to move in.  

Clark put up plantation blinds on all the windows, while I marked the walls off with painter's tape to get ready to paint.  Griffin had his toys strung all over the floor and we talked and listened to the radio.  It felt good to be there, in our new home, as a family. 


And in the midst of...
missing my family
missing our friends
missing our church
missing our house
missing our neighbors
missing our town


I could look at my boys tonight and smile and think, 'Home.....it's wherever you are."








Welcome to my blog!  Didn't really plan on being so transparent on my very first blog post, but this is me, this is real, and sometimes life isn't all sunshine and roses :)  But God is faithful, and I know that this too shall pass :)  The sun will come back out, and the roses will bloom again! 
     
Lots of love - Lindsey